#13 - The Three Little Pigs


February 26, 2007

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13 - The Three Little Pigs

13 - The Three Little Pigs

"#13 - The Three Little Pigs" is the 14th episode of Skippy's Short Stories.


Skippy tells the story about the Three Little Pigs, who were messing with the Big Bad Wolf. The wolf gets ticked off with them and tells them to leave, but the pigs ignore him and tease him by calling him a big sissy wolf and laughing at him. The Big Bad Wolf plans to get the pigs and eat them for his dinner, but one of the pigs says he will not be able to if they build a house first.

Later, the Three Little Pigs get together and have a "piggy meeting"; one of them decides they are going to have to build some houses to keep the Big Bad Wolf out. The first pig wants to build one out of straw, the second pig wants to build one out of hay, and the third pig wants to build one out of bricks. They all agree and the first pig makes his house out of hay, but since hammers and nails do not work with hay, he used spit instead and soon gets his house done. The second pig makes his house out of sticks, but since sticks do not stick together too well with glue, he puts it together with mayonnaise instead and manages to get his house done. The third pig ("with a big old brain in his head") builds his house out of bricks and makes them extremely tight.

One day, the Big Bad Wolf skips along and notices the hay house with the pig instead and tells him to let him in so he can eat him, but the pig says in a sing-song voice, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!". The wolf says that last time someone said that to him, he ripped their face off. However, the pig tells the wolf he will say it again and once again sings, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!". Having enough of the pig's taunts, the Big Bad Wolf took off and returned with a big fan and blew the straw house away, making the pig run away in fear and go over to his brother's house. The wolf laughs, calls him a stupid pig, and simply follows him over to the second pig's house.

The wolf tells the pigs to let him in because he is hungry and to not make him sing the "stupid" rhyme again and just let him in. However, the pigs harmonize and sing, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!". The wolf tells them he will be right back and comes rolling back up on a bulldozer and takes the whole house out. Skippy says the pigs are shaking in the boots, but then he asks if pigs wear boots; so he instead says the pigs are shaking, but then asks if there are enough blankets. Instead, Skippy says the pigs are scared, so they run into their brother's brick house and he tells him to come in and calls them stupids since he told them it was not going to work.

The Big Bad Wolf comes up to the brick house and says he will try and "be black". He knocks on the door and asks if the pigs will let him in because he will hang out with them for a little bit and that they could play games, watch over, and simply hang out. However, the pigs all sing together, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin... CHIIIIIIIIIN!!!". Since the wolf doesn't like singing, pigs, or singing pigs, he tells them he will be right back because he is going to go visit the Acme Company. The wolf soon returns from the Acme Company with 75 sticks of dynamite, which he lights around the house and lights the fuse, exploding the house into smithereens, including the Three Little Pigs.

The Big Bad Wolf is now upset since he blew up the pigs and has nothing to eat, so he decides to go home. When he turns around, Little Red Riding Hood's woodsman suddenly comes busting down the forest with a big gun and a machete, chops the wolf up and shoots him in the face. Skippy ends the story, screams, and shouts, "STUPID!".